A Mothers Heartbreak. 3 a.m. anxiety attack, another night of being woken up in fear for my little boys. Does he not understand that I will always be their mother? Does he think he can just erase me from their lives to try and hurt me? It’s during these times of despair that my best ideas come to me. Even though I feel out of control, I can also manage a high level of clarity. It’s like your body being in shock from fear, the more you try to find your safe place the worse it gets. Then my mind copes with its survival tactic, all of a sudden it’s like a peacefulness washes over me. My thoughts are so clear that I’m able to visualize what I’m thinking and make that vision into a reality. That’s when I get up and grab a paintbrush or beading needle!
Recognize it. Own it. Release it!